If I Die Young
by The Purple Lady
Summary: Blaine receives awful news.  Klaine angst.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Just something I needed to write. Angst.

"I'm afraid it's bad news, Mr Anderson."

The doctor looked down at his chart and then back up to the teenager with sad eyes. He saw this all the time, people's lives cut short, but it didn't make it any less painful. This was the news he always dreaded to tell, especially to someone so young.

"Please, doctor. Call me Blaine."

It started with headaches. He had them almost every day. He put them down to stress or dehydration, or maybe he needed glasses. He just took a painkiller and shrugged them off. Then they turned into migraines. They grew more and more painful, soon painkillers weren't helping. He decided to go to the doctor's to see if he could find a solution.

He never could have imagined the news he would receive.

"It's cancer, Blaine. And I'm sorry to say that it's terminal."

Blaine felt numb. He couldn't take in the news. He could hear his mother sob beside him, being consoled by the doctor, but he just stood there. The word 'cancer' floated around his head. Sure he heard of people getting it all the time, but he never thought it'd be him. He was only seventeen years old for God sake. Too young for anyone to have to face death.

"_If I die young bury me in satin__  
><em>_Lay me down on a bed of roses__  
><em>_Sink me in the river at dawn__  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song"_

He'd have to tell his friends, how was he supposed to do that? And Kurt. He was going to break his heart. They finally found each other and now they were being torn apart. He felt sick, to know he only had so little time left with Kurt. It was too much, it was all too much. He'd have to say goodbye to everyone he loved. He'd never get to go to college, never get married or have kids or grow old. Things so many people take for granted, being ripped away from.

_"__Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother,__  
><em>_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colours._

_Oh and__life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no__  
><em>_Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby"_

His mom was going to have to bury her baby. A parent's worse nightmare. He had always been closer to his mom that dad, she understood him more. She was much more accepting. He was going to have to say goodbye to her too._  
><em>  
>"<em>The sharp knife of a short life, well<em>_  
><em>_I've had just enough time"_

Not enough.

_"__If I die young bury me in satin__  
><em>_Lay me down on a bed of roses__  
><em>_Sink me in the river at dawn__  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song__"_

He never thought he'd be planning his own funeral. As he grew weaker, he decided to face the inevitable. He sat down with his mother and decided what he'd like for the ceremony. Kurt helped too, he always had a way with organisation. They went through songs, colour schemes, prayers and even the nasty things like coffins.

_"__The sharp knife of a short life, well__  
><em>_I've had just enough time"_

Kurt visited Blaine everyday, not willing to lose any time with him. Some days they talked about everything, others they just lay on Blaine's bed and held on to each other. Some visits were spent in fits of giggles, others filled with tears and distress. And every time Kurt left to go home, he said goodbye like it would be his last one._  
><em>  
><em>"<em>_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom__  
><em>_I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger__  
><em>_I've never known the loving of a man__  
><em>_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand__  
><em>_There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever__  
><em>_Who would have thought forever could be severed by___

_The sharp knife of a short life, well__  
><em>_I've had just enough time"_

Blaine was so weak now. He spent all his time in bed, getting frailer and frailer. He was in pain a lot, but you never would have guessed it because he always put a smile on for people who came to see him. He only let his walls fall down around Kurt. Kurt always held his hand and kissed him better, doing anything he could to make him feel better. He told Blaine he loved him constantly, just to see him smile.

It was true though, he loved him so much. And soon Kurt would have to say goodbye.

_"__A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar__  
><em>_They're worth so much more after I'm a goner__  
><em>_And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singin'__  
><em>_Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"_

One Saturday evening, Kurt was at Blaine's bedside as always. He'd been there since early this morning and planned to stay the night. Blaine's mom would come in and chat with the boys from time to time, even Blaine's dad came in. During Blaine's illness they'd managed to put all their differences behind them, neither wanting to regret it when the time came to say goodbye.

"Kurt" Blaine whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Yes, Blaine?" Kurt squeezed his hand, letting him know he was here and listening.

"I'm going to be gone by tonight, I can tell."

Surprisingly Blaine didn't look said when he said this. Kurt looked at him and could have sworn he saw relief wash across his face.

"That wouldn't be the first time you've said that to scare me, love."

Even after all this time, Kurt wasn't ready to say goodbye. He knew he never would be. He started stroking Blaine's frail hand with his thumb, to sooth himself rather than Blaine.

"I can just…feel it though."

Kurt looked away, tears forming in his eyes. He knew Blaine was right, his pulse had been getting weaker these last few days and he can't remember the last time he got out of bed.

"Kurt?" Blaine said, tightening his grip on his boyfriend's hand.

"Yeah?" Kurt only replied with one word, for fear his voice would break.

"Don't forget me." Blaine looked at Kurt, tears filling in his eyes.

Kurt smiled, tears streaking his face and stifled a sob.

"Never could" He replied with pure honesty.

"In 50 years time, you won't remember me."

Kurt's heart broke. Had Blaine been worrying about this all along? About Kurt moving on to the point where he completely forgot Blaine?

"I will, Blaine. I promise I will."

Kurt put both his hands on Blaine's and looked at him with such conviction that Blaine knew he would live on forever in Kurt's heart.

"I love you." Blaine's voice cracked.

Kurt had been the only boy Blaine had ever loved, and he'd forever be the only one. He knew this was his goodbye, and it hurt more than any physical pain he had suffered over the last few months.

"I love you too, and I always will."

Kurt stood up and kissed Blaine softly on the lips. When he sat back down he continued to hold onto Blaine's hand and watched his breathing become slowly more laboured. Within fifteen minutes, Blaine was gone. 

"_If I die young bury me in satin__  
><em>_Lay me down on a bed of roses__  
><em>_Sink me in the river at dawn__  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song__"_

Blaine's voice echoed in the church. He recorded this song just before he fell ill and requested it to be played when they carried the coffin out of the church. Kurt never would have imagined aged 17 he'd be carrying his boyfriend on his shoulders to his final resting place.

_"__The ballad of a dove__  
><em>_Go with peace and love__  
><em>_Gather up your tears; keep them in your pocket__  
><em>_Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them"_

Eventually everyone left and Kurt was left at the grave by himself. He knelt down beside it and stared down at the flowers left by friends and family. There had been an enormous turnout of people who had come to say goodbye to Blaine, which warmed Kurt's heart.  
>He sat there for what seemed like hours and thought about the last few months, how he had all this time to say goodbye to Blaine, but he never really did. When it began to get dark, he stood up and looked down at the grave once more.<p>

"I'll never say goodbye to you."

"_The sharp knife of a short life, well__  
><em>_I've had just enough time"_

_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I've decided to do a follow up, of Kurt years in the future still remembering Blaine. I was going to make it a bit happier, but this is what my brain came up with…

Enjoy!

…

Years had gone by, Kurt had moved on. He went to college in New York and studied fashion, like he'd always dreamed. Went on to work for designers, made quite a name for himself. Sure he never got famous, but he never needed the fame. The reward of seeing his work on the runway was enough for him.

He fell in love again, with a tall blonde from New Jersey called Matt. He was nothing like Blaine, which Kurt decided was a good thing. He and Matt settled down in suburban New York, to a nice family area. They got married, started a family, and lived the life Blaine never had the chance to.

Kurt thought about him every day, his smile, his voice, his charm. When he went back to Ohio he always visited Blaine, updated him on his life, he even introduced him to Matt. Some visits he'd sit there and talk for hours, imaging what Blaine would say in reponse. He knew Blaine would be happy for him, because that's all Blaine wanted for Kurt; happiness.

On Blaine's 50th anniversary, Kurt went back to Ohio. He went to visit Blaine's grave with a bouquet of white Lily's, Blaine's favourite. He laid them down next to the tombstone, and sat down on the grass. This took some effort. He wasn't as agile as he used to be, he was almost 70 now.

"I told you I'd never forget you, no one can forget their first love."

Kurt smiled looking at the grave. He always wondered what his life would have turned out like had Blaine never gotten ill. Would they have ended up together? Lived in Ohio? Had a family? These were questions Kurt would never get the answer to, but that was ok. He was happy with how his life turned out.

He always felt blessed to have had Blaine in his life. He saved him all those years ago, back when high school was his world. Kurt could never forget that. For all Kurt knew, if Blaine never came along he'd be the one buried in this graveyard today.

"I remember the first time I laid eyes on you, I was in love in an instant. You though, took your time with that. But you got there in the end." Kurt chuckled.

"I never thought I'd get past your death, you were my world. I never thought I'd be happy again, but look at me now?"

Tears were forming in his eyes as he relived the pain. He thought of his husband at home in suburban New Jersey, still as gorgeous as ever. His kids Elizabeth and Blaine, he was so happy when Matt told him he could name their son Blaine. He was even a grandfather now. Blaine had little Burt, Alex and Jessica and Elizabeth had baby Aaron. He'd never been prouder of his children.

"I still love you. You may think after all this time it isn't possible, but it's true. You will always be my teenage dream, Blaine."

Kurt laughed, remembering their first encounter. God Blaine was a charmer, had him right under his spell. All he had to do was introduce himself and it left Kurt practically speechless.

"I want to sing to you." Kurt looked down to his hands playing with the grass.

"It's been so long since I've heard your voice. I almost forget what it felt like when you sang to me. Almost. Anyway…"

Though Kurt's voice had deepened with age, it still had that infamous angelic quality to it.

"_If I could take this moment forever__  
><em>_Turn the pages of my mind__  
><em>_To another place and time__  
><em>_We would never say goodbye"_

Kurt stared at the tombstone, reminiscing about his youth, his time spent at Dalton with Blaine. It had been such a short time, but I time that would live on with him forever.

"

_If I could find the words I would speak them__  
><em>_Then I wouldn't be tongue-tied__  
><em>_When I looked into your eyes__  
><em>_We would never say goodbye"_

He can remember the first time they said I love you so clearly. Looking into Blaine's eyes, getting lost in them. Professing their love for each other in a park not too far away from where he sat now. God, that was so long ago, Kurt though.

"

_If I could stop the moon ever rising__  
><em>_Day would not become the night__  
><em>_Wouldn't feel this cold inside__  
><em>_And we'd never say goodbye"_

Kurt still felt pain when he thought about Blaine's untimely death. All the potential he had, ripped away. 

"

_I wish that our dreams were frozen__  
><em>_Then our hearts would not be broken__  
><em>_When we let each other go..."_

Letting go had been the hardest thing Kurt ever did. He spent most of his senior year of high school trying to mend his broken heart. He never fully let go of Blaine, and he knew he never would, but those first few months after Blaine passed away were the toughest of Kurt's life, even to this day.

"

_If I could steal this moment forever__  
><em>_Paint a picture-perfect smile__  
><em>_So our story stayed alive__  
><em>_We would never say goodbye"_

Tears fell freely down Kurt's aged face, but he was smiling.

"I don't know if I'll be able to come visit you again, getting old now" Kurt laughed, mostly to cover the pain.

"But I promise, until the day I die I will never forget you."

Kurt stood up, using the tombstone to leverage himself up. Then he leaned down and kissed it.

"I still won't ever say goodbye to you, Blaine."

…

Twelve years later Kurt was laying in his bed in a nursing home in New Jersey. He didn't know what was going on around him, there was beeping and people he didn't know talking to him and asking him questions. There were flowers at the end of his bed, balloons at the other side of the room. Kurt didn't know where he was or who this grey, old man holding his hand was. He seemed nice though, Kurt thought.

"He's slipping away, I'm afraid Matthew. The Alzheimer's has taken him too far. He isn't really aware of anything going on and I think you should say your goodbyes." The nurse spoke outside to Matt, it was the day he'd been dreading. Though realistically it was good news, Kurt had been in this state for over a year now and it was truly heartbreaking for his family to watch. Watch as he forgot them all, even Matt.

That day all of Kurt's immediate family came in to say goodbye to him, thought he didn't know who any of them were. He waved goodbye when they left, wishing them well. Matt was last to say goodbye, kissing him on the forehead, whispering his goodbyes into Kurt's ears. Kurt looked at him with curiosity as he left. He didn't know who that nice man was, but he would have liked to.

Kurt drifted away slowly that night. The radio was on in his room as comfort. An oldie came on from Kurt's youth, a song triggered his memory.

"_Before I met you, I was alright,_

_But things were kind of heavy, you brought me to life."_

He thought of Blaine, the love, hope, pain and everything else attached to him. He thought of their friendship, their love, his death. As he slowly leaned closer to his own death, he remembered clearly his first love. Their first kiss, and their final farewell.

With his last breath he whispered.

"I'll never forget you, Blaine."


End file.
